History in the making Not-so-open letter to my sister

The Rules of a Toddler

Posted on Sep 2, 2008 in My Life /

While reading through my usual blogs
the other day, I came upon a post from
Mommy on Top that I enjoyed, so I
thought I’d share it!

The Rules of a Toddler!

If it is on, I must turn it off.
If it is off, I must turn it on.
If it is folded, I must unfold it.
If it is a liquid, it must be shaken, then spilled.
If it a solid, it must be crumbled, chewed or smeared.
If it is high, it must be reached.
If it is shelved, it must be removed.
If it is pointed, it must be run with at top speed.
If it has leaves, they must be picked.
If it is plugged, it must be unplugged.
If it is not trash, it must be thrown away.
If it is in the trash, it must be removed, inspected, and thrown on the floor.
If it is closed, it must be opened.
If it does not open, it must be screamed at.
If it has drawers, they must be rifled.
If it is a pencil, it must write on the refrigerator, monitor, or table.
If it is full, it will be more interesting emptied.
If it is empty, it will be more interesting full.
If it is a pile of dirt, it must be laid upon.
If it is stroller, it must under no circumstances be ridden in without protest. It must be pushed by me instead.
If it has a flat surface, it must be banged upon.
If Mommy’s hands are full, I must be carried.
If Mommy is in a hurry and wants to carry me, I must walk alone.
If it is paper, it must be torn.
If it has buttons, they must be pressed.
If the volume is low, it must go high.
If it is toilet paper, it must be unrolled on the floor.
If it is a drawer, it must be pulled upon.
If it is a toothbrush, it must be inserted into my mouth.
If it has a faucet, it must be turned on at full force.
If it is a phone, I must talk to it.
If it is a bug, it must be swallowed.
If it doesn’t stay on my spoon, it must be dropped on the floor.
If it is not food, it must be tasted.
If it IS food, it must not be tasted.
If it is dry, it must be made wet with drool, milk, or toilet water.
If it is a car seat, it must be protested with arched back.
If it is Mommy, it must be hugged.

Borrowed from Love Those Kids – Clean Jokes & Family Entertainment.

This describes both my kids perfectly! Can you think of anything to add?

7 Responses to “The Rules of a Toddler” Jump to comment form...

mom2my9 , says:
September 3, 2008 at 2:46 pm ~ comment #1

So true! This is awesome!

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goodncrazy , says:
September 3, 2008 at 8:43 pm ~ comment #2

Oh my! THANKS so much for still being there after my nightmare of an August month! About 80% unpacked…that is… of the stuff I actually intend to unpack!

And Whahoo internet back up TODAY!

Something more like…if it’s a computer I must click it…

(but the same could be said of THIS mommy too!)

goodncrazys last blog post..Diary of A Move

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Mama Zen , says:
September 3, 2008 at 10:47 pm ~ comment #3

If it is a toy, it must be MY toy!

Mama Zens last blog post..Last Ride Of The Summer

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Caroline , says:
September 5, 2008 at 1:11 pm ~ comment #4

If it is naptime, I must be wide awake and hyperactive.

Thanks for stopping by my blog!

P.S. I am having a contest! I hope you come back to enter!

http://pinklemonadeboutiquebags.blogspot.com

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DJ , says:
September 5, 2008 at 6:20 pm ~ comment #5

You just about covered them all I think, I’ll add one more:
If it’s round and looks like a ball, it must be thrown!

DJs last blog post..Recycling Tips!

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Rach (Heart of Rachel) , says:
September 6, 2008 at 4:05 am ~ comment #6

So cute! Yes, toddlers can really be so amusing in their ways.

Thanks for visiting.

Rach (Heart of Rachel)s last blog post..Photo Hunt :: String

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Randi , says:
March 11, 2010 at 2:49 pm ~ comment #7

If it can be taken apart – I am entitled to take it apart!

At least this seemed to be the way my boys thought.

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